This is a place to submit secrets and thoughts about being a female to male (FTM or F2M) trans person, regardless of transition status. Some posts might be triggering. Tags being used:
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3693) I’m afraid to tell my family and friends that I’m trans* I just feel like they wouldn’t accept me and that they would pretend like I said nothing and call me a girl. I’m a nerves wreck and I just can’t help but think about them not accepting me for me.
3692) I’m not ready to come out yet because I’m still underage and living home. I have to present as female, and I’m scared people will think I’m a transtrender or not really a guy because I deal with it. But I only manage to deal with it because it’s what I have to do to have a roof over my head.
3691) Once upon a time there was a young girl, who felt out of place. Why she didn’t know. She never liked dresses or having long hair, and she despised wearing bras too. It wasn’t until she seventeen when she fully discovered the truth. Piece by piece, HE figured it out and now all he’s afraid of, is coming out…his family is transphobic you see; to come out to them would be a true living hell. He’s different enough having Asperger’s and ADHD. One more difference would put them over the edge…
3691) I’m currently questioning myself about my gender identity and it’s very difficult. I’m also terrified of possibly saying the wrong things to a therapist who specializes in these things. I’m constantly arguing with myself about being honest or playing along with what most of them expect to hear. I somehow think being honest could de-qualify me of the label. I’ve heard it depends on the doctor and how well-trained they are but still, it feels like I have to pass an evaluation test. What if I fail?
3689) I started T past Oct., I have hair pretty much growing where I should. I lost weight. I’m stealth and no one questions it. I have a good job, a good place to live, and good friends. My family supports me, and my best friend is willing to use her credit c, to pay for top surgery. I’m really lucky My biggest problems are that I’m a gay social anxious 28-y-o horny virgin, and I’m afraid that I’ll be look down by others for my luck, and I’m terrified that no one will ever want me or want to fuck me.
3687) I see all these Trans* guys who are slim with broad shoulders and the like. And I’m just so curvy with huge hips and the smallest, invisible shoulders imaginable. I am also 5’2”. I never pass. And it makes me want to starve myself.
3685) I always treated myself as a boy. When I shaved my head and started binding my mom threatened to kick me out. She is a minister. God made me a girl. I’ve been doing well with being a girl since I told her I’d give it a ‘real try’. But it’s all just faking.
3684) i have really bad dysphoria about my height. it really upsets me that i’ll never be the average male height and i’ll always be a ‘female’ height, but i feel awful, because i’m actually 5’7 so i’m taller than a typical female…
3684) I see these 15-year-olds who are so self-assured, so comfortable in their trans identities, and I’m just sitting here, 23 years old, just having come to terms with it…I can’t help but get a bit jealous.
3683) It makes me ashamed that despite sometimes spending whole days crying and unable to open my eyes from dysphoria, I can still put on a minidress and makeup for a night out and feel sexy. I look good as a female and I feel guilty for ‘wasting’ what I’ve been given.
3682) I’m not out to my extended family. I’m engaged to an amazing woman. I’m sure that they’ll be angered more by the fact that I’m marrying a black woman than finding out I’m trans. I’m not sure how to feel about this.
3681) For 5 years I have felt as though I am in the wrong body. I have cried on field trips where I couldn’t room with or even sit with the boys. I’m just so tired of being scared. I just hate it all. I just turned 12 and I feel as though everyone thinks I should be happy about boobs and make up. It just makes me feel so sick. I’m so selfish and mean and arrogant. I am so sorry, I’m just so scared.