3750) I thought that after I came out to my boyfriends parents it would be easier then if they found out on their own from my changes already happening from being on t. We told them and I thought they understood. They still refer to me as his girlfriend, she, her, its killing me inside and I don’t know what to do. I finally started to feel good and dare I say comfortable with how I look on the outside, now… every time this happens it’s the biggest blow to my self esteem ever. I feel like I’ve come so far to only be thrown right back to square one.
I won’t need to use this anymore but just putting it out there for anyone who binds with Underworks binders
psa for anyone who’s money issues are tight.
3749) I don’t think transition will ever be an option for me because I know what its like to be poor and I know being trans (even in the unlikely event I pass, still have to deal with documentation) will fuck up my career plan completely. Everyone I’m around are these special snowflake types, or want me to follow my heart, and I have to be the one to reply - but who pays for this? Where do I live? Where do I work? Its not as easy as just being true to yourself.
3748) My best friend and best ally is a cis guy and he’s so supportive, so understanding and takes such good care of me. I feel like the worst person when sometimes I look at him or hug him and just want to cry with this awful, hopeless jealousy.
3747) I’m over a year on T but it still hurts when I hang out with gay guys. They have always treated me like a real man but with them I feel like the ugliest and the most fake gay guy ever, like someone who only pretends to be a male. They all have perfect bodies and it makes me dysphoric. I had opportunity to be in relationship but I lost my chance and I did it intentionally. Why? I thought that he deserved someone better. Someone who is more “real” than me. Someone with a penis…
3746) I’m out to my friends since a couple weeks, and they still mess up pronouns sometimes. The other night I was sleeping at a friend’s appartment, and after I went to bed I heard her talking about me with other friends in the living room. Since I’m always wondering if my friends use male or female pronouns when I’m absent, I put my ear on the door, and here is what I heard : “Helie is a man of principle.” I’m so happy I could cry
3745) I found my mom’s baby book for me today. I looked through all the pictures and what she had to say about her “baby girl,” but I went cold when I read “She was such a surprise after the doctors told us we would probably have a boy.”
3744) I’ve pushed my feelings down for as long as I can and only made small changes, but for my own well being I feel I’ve reached the stage where I need to take real steps to transitioning. But my family is small, tight-knit, and completely disgusted by trans issues. My mother is who I spend the most time with and who would possibly condemn me the least, but she too is very depressed. How can I tell her when she ‘needs her little girl’s support’ every day?
3743) I’m in this weird place in transitioning where some people know I’m trans*, some people use my new name and some my old, some people (infuriatingly) still use female pronouns, and people who don’t know me assume I’m male 99% of the time. I feel like I’m 10 different people depending on who I talk to. I kind of wish I could hop on a plane somewhere and just start a new life where nobody knows I was AFAB. Mostly because I just want to be over this awkward in between identity shift.
3742) I feel like I’ve killed her. A daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, but she died a long time ago.
3741) I have never come so hard as when I imagined someone playing with my anatomy as it is but whispering, “I love your cock,” into my ear.
3740) My dysphoria is so bad I can’t even go visit my friends, even though these friends accept me for who I am. I’m afraid what will come out of me being holed up inside my home everyday, because I can’t bring this body for other people to see.
3739) i often worry that my girlfriend, who’s completely girl-crazy, is only attracted to me because of my feminine face…
3738) My dysphoria is so awful most days that I can barely tolerate showering or changing clothes or going to the bathroom. I don’t know what I’m going to do.
3737) I’m in so much pain.